How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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