Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
your room smells of hookers.
And success
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
