I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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