You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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