Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize