Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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