I cockslap morals
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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