fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
