who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I want to be your penis for a week.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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