You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
