Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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