I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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