Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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