I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
