I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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