The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
