Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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