I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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