Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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