Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
