Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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