i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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