Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
