it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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