do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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