i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize