Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
