i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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