Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She said her name was "party"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
