have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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