i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
