So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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