you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
