I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
