sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
