She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
