I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
