FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They took my balls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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