I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize