Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
