using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize