I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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