I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
