Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
