If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
