pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
