I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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