It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
