do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
