things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize