the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
