Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
