Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
