I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
