Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
