Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
