Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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