ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
