i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
