i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
