Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
