ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
