Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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