she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
