If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
