addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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